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Ministering to Kids With Sick Parents

April 14, 2010 By marycarlisle

Normally, childhood experiences do not include finding out that one of your parents has cancer and spending lots of time at this place: the Cancer Center… so how do you minister to the kids in your church when that is the case?

I’ve been there. Not only have I been the children’s minister searching for the right words to say, but I have been that kid. My dad was diagnosed with cancer when I was eight. The next four years of my life I was in and out of cancer centers with my dad often. I can’t say I knew how to respond to cancer, but I’m pretty sure no one else around me knew how to either.

I am still searching for the right words to say during these times. I’m not sure there really are “right words,” but I can speak from what really made a difference in my life:

  • Others that encouraged my parents. This blessed me because I love my parents.
  • Hand-written cards, especially when I got one specifically addressed to me.
  • My dad’s best friend, my pastor, spending lots of quality time with my dad/family.
  • My parents being honest with me and allowing me to ask questions about cancer.
  • Hugs. It sounds silly, but sometimes words just aren’t necessary.
  • Events like father-daughter dinners to build sweet memories.
  • Adults who let me ask the hard questions. These were big ones for me: Why does God let this happen to people who love Him? What did I do? Did I make God mad? Why MY dad? Why do I pray God will heal my dad and nothing happen? They didn’t have to know the answer. I just wanted them to listen.

Sickness is hard, and there’s no formula for ministering to families dealing with it.

Just be available. Just encourage. And just love.

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